Tuesday, July 7, 2009

********BLOCKBUSTER TRADE*********

"If you're not moving, you're just standing still", said SwinGERS GM Jason Gerwig this afternoon as he consumated a deal with the Baby Gorilla's that sent Kevin Youklis, Ryan Braun, and Nick Markakis to the jungle for Miguel Cabrera, Andre Ethier, and Jermaine Dye.

With the SwinGERS needing a power surge in their lineup, acquiring Cabrera, Ethier, and Dye certainly will fill that need. "That's an area we've been losing each week", proclaimed Gerwig as he exited his palatial estate in Ukranian Village, "this upgrade should add a few volts to what could be a powerful lineup in the second half".

With the Baby Gorilla's in dead last in PG East, a move had to be made to shake things up. "Unfortunately, things haven't worked out as we planned this season, and we're struggling", said Gorilla's GM Jim Clark, "when that happens you can't stay stagnant, you have to keep fighting". With an abysmal 49-74 record, the Gorilla's certainly lost some power today but did pick up batting average capability, along with a little more speed.

"I've always liked what Mr. Markakis has brought to the table, and I look forward to seeing him in a Gorilla uniform, said Jim Clark, "i'm sorry to see a fellow Sun Devil leave in Andre Ethier, he'll be missed".


Railsplitter said...

One reporter standing outside the negotiating room had this to say, "It appeared as though Ger was walking with a pronounced limp when they exited the room and Jimmy was grinning ear-to-ear."

In fact, while waiting for a cab the Ger noticed someone pulling vaseline intensive care lip balm out of their pocket. He was overhead saying, "I could have used some of that 20 minutes ago."

PG said...

Hi, I'm Buster Olney, and this is ESPN news...word is after the Gorilla-SwinGER deal was executed, the people of Lincoln, Illinois ran for cover as C&A GM Ryan McCreery went on the warpath.

Our sources indicate that Gorilla GM Jim Clark was negotiating with McCreery earlier today but could not come up with a deal. Insiders indicate that C&A could have received Adrian Gonzalez AND Andre Ethier. But when he balked at the deal, Clark moved fast in another direction. McCreery was holding out hope that Clark was bluffing and would come back to the table.

"I've never seen him like that at all", said Lincoln resident Dicky McGee, "he had this jealous rage in his eyes, we all headed for cover...it was awful".

Cornholers said...

I'm trying to evaluate this trade and the more I look at it the more I see it being pretty darn even.

I match it up this way:

A) Miggy Cabrera and Ryan Braun are nearly identical in production. Both signed to 3 year deals, I give the edge to a younger (and slimmer) Braun in the long-run. But for instant returns I see no advantage either way.

B) Jermaine Dye is a better producer then Kevin Youkilis. As much as people want to say that Dye is older and slowing down he continues to be the best producing RFer in the AL. Ger could see the addition of Dye give him the edge in the stretch run and he won't have to worry about 1B next season as he now has Cabrera.

C) For everything that Markakis could be, he hasn't really taken to the long ball at homer-friendly Camden Yards. Ethier is certainly banging some wood. I would of raved at the pick of Markakis if he wasn't a FA after the season. I don't see how 2 months of Markakis would help a last place Gorilla's team? Maybe the Gorillas should of attempted to land Alicedes Escobar (supposedly the next great SS in the NL) instead who at least will be starting for MIL next season?

In conclusion I think it's a fairly even, value-for-value, trade put together by these two owners. I think the Gorillas are victors in grabbing Ryan Braun (I suspect PG is wearing his tshirt right now!) and I think Ger did what he had to do to give him that extra push for the stretch run.

6-players and not a pitcher to be found anywhere???

Anonymous said...

Wow, is Adrian Gonzalez really on the trading block?

PG said...

(crickets chirping)

Anonymous said...

that is because we are all aggressively working on trades of our own

Michael said...

Wow! I think this leans towards the Gorillas..

Braun is just ripping it up and to have him for 3 years is a solid move.. I take him over Cabrera..

Brave move by both owners..

Only 1 offer today sent over.. I will be sending some out...

T-Dub said...

The trade winds, they are a-blowin' boys ... Look what we started 3k!

Ok, so look ... I like Braun best of anyone in this deal. I can see it as a long-term play, but no one's said it ... and I will - the Dye-Cabrera combination is something to shout about, period.

I'm not sure Youk thrills me, but he produces, and Markakis and sb's are just flat out underrated.

I think both have some things to argue in their favor ... but I think Braun is a stud (that I hate) and Cabrera/Dye is a lot to give up and a lot to get for the Ger.

That's my two cents ...

Cornholers said...

I would like Markakis if he hit more HRs and actually stole bases. But with something silly like 4 SBs on the season I think the O's have gotten away from his 5-tools. And how come he doesn't have more then 8 HRs in homer friendly Camden???

Braun is legit, no doubt, but people seem to forget that Miguel Cabrera is still only 26 years old. He's actually only 5 months older then Braun. They both hit for power and average and can't play defense. In my mind they're a wash.