Baby Bisho's Crib Talk

We all have em'...those players that you: dislike, hate, abhor, loathe, and completely shudder at the thought of them

A) Playing for your favorite team

B) Playing for your fantasy team

Those guys that you'd immediately replace in the line-up before the game or season while playing Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball on SNES, or any other baseball video game that used the REAL players. Yea....those guys!

Here's my list, and a snippet

10.) Armando Reynoso - That mustache...and he was TERRIBLE

9.) Danny Darwin -THAT mustache...and I think he was the oldest player in MLB from 1994-1999.

8.) Hal Morris - That batting stance...like swallowing tacks

7.) Kent Tukulve - That 1987 Topps card with that stupid Pirates hat and glasses

6.) Glenallen Hill - Those white shoes..and he wasn't playing for the A's

5.) Omar Daal - Yuck

4.) Jason Kendall - There's just something about not being able to hit the ball past the SS

3.) Jamie Moyer - I'll say it...I could rake a double off of him...RETIRE

2.) Darren Oliver - As I said back in the Sigma Chi house to PG in 1998..take him behind the barn and shoot him. FYI...it's 2009 and he is still being paid to throw 82 mph CHEESE

1.) Louis Sojo - C'mon...you knew it was coming. This guy was my poison...HATED him..not for being good, but for being that BAD (lifetime OPS of .650), and pouring himself into a uniform for 13 years!

Open Thread Friday

Has anyone ever tried wi-fi on an airplane? It's a life saver (especially after missing your 6am direct flight to Boston and have to now go through Hotlanta). Consider this open thread Friday. If anyone is interested in doing Recap Monday, shoot me an email. Also, looking forward to another T-Dub power ranking in the near future.

Linc’s Rumblings, Whispers & Rumors

Back in the day when pine tar, caffeine pills, and a Big League Chew sugar rush were the closest thing an MLB player had to a performance enhancing drug a young Linc would bicycle down to the local dime store and purchase as many baseball card “wax packs” as his coin filled Velcro wallet would allow. With at least 3 friends hovering over each shoulder a little Linc would tear open pack after pack, discard the brittle chalk covered pink tooth chipper the Topps corporation bribed the FDA to call gum, and shuffle through each package of 12 randomly assorted cards hoping to find the 4th graders holy grail of baseball - RUSTY KUNTZ!

Unfortunately, lady luck deemed me unworthy of such a joy and I was left to use my keen negotiating skills to acquire Mr. Kuntz via trade. For the low, low, low price of my brother’s Storm Shadow GI Joe action figure and a Diamond Kings Eric Davis, Mr. Kuntz was at last mine - all mine!

Moral of the story you ask? Well, not everyone is so fortunate to find their own Rusty Kuntz. Sometimes, you have to swallow hard, steal from your younger brother, and give up something to get something.

As such, the following is this week’s rundown of MLB rumblings, whispers, and rumors the way Linc hears ‘em:

Doug Davis (SP) - Arizona appears to be one of the early trade deadline sellers and a middle of the order starting pitcher will always have value with the Rangers, Mets, and Phillies all possible destinations. A return to Milwaukee is also a possibility but unlikely and the Brewers are looking to land a veteran SP with playoff experience.

John Garland (SP) - sticking with our AZ theme, Garland is only committed to the D-backs for 1 year. Rumor has it LA is interested as a nice addition in the Dodgers 5th rotation spot.

Nick Johnson (1B) - Thirty seconds after the opening pitch the Nationals were in the NL East cellar. It is no secret Johnson can be had with the Mets and Red Sox obvious possibilities. Johnson would be an adequate replacement for the Mets with Delgado on the DL or could serve as the BoSox DH replacing Ortiz and Baldeli. I’ve also read where Texas may be interested in Johnson as a replacement for ubur-whiffer Chris Davis but with Justin Smoak lighting up the minors I don’t see it happening.

Adam Dunn (1B/OF) - I swear I’m not making this up but San Francisco thinks they actually have a shot at the wild card and are a big bat away from sparking their offense. While Dunn’s defense makes him most attractive to AL teams as a DH, the Giants are getting nothing out of Travis Ishikawa and Dunn would provide some much needed power and name recognition to their no name offense.

Derek Lee (1B) - According to the San Francisco Chronicle the Giants called the Cubs about Lee when Lee was slumping and Hoffpauier was hot - ok luke warm. The Cubs shot down the deal as SF was only offering Jonathan O. Sanchez and a PTBNL.

Takashi Saito (RP) - Yes, there has been a Tak Saito sighting! Rangers need a middle reliever and the Red Sox are rich in pitching. I’ve heard Saito to the Rangers for Hank Blalock is a possibility with Beantown using Blalock much like they would Johnson in the analysis above.

Huston Street (RP) - This one writes itself. If the Rocks run out of gas before the deadline and become sellers Street and his $7 million a year contract are out of the mile high city. Rumor is the Cubs are interested but payroll may be an issue with the team for sale. Tampa Bay’s closer by committee is working - for now - if Tampa starts to make a solid push look for them to make a hard run along with the Yankees who covet Street as a set-up man and Rivera insurance policy.

Jonathan O. Sanchez (SP) - You have to give the Giants credit for trying. One man’s trash may be another man’s treasure but Sanchez has been downright awful this year. The usual desperate for starting pitching suspects are out there. Rangers I’m looking at you, but Linc has learned that prior to his DL stint Cleveland was scouting Sanchez. Keep in mind this is the same team that traded for Anthony Reyes.

Matt Holiday (OF) - Each year one name becomes synonymous with the trade deadline. 2009 will be the year of the Holiday. Where he will land is speculative at this point. Big money market buyer and seller teams need to be fully established but rumors have mentioned the Cardinals, Tigers, Giants, and Yankees as possibilities. I even heard one rumor having him going back to Colorado for Atkins and others should the Rox prove to have staying power. Logic should eliminate the pretenders from the contenders but if the Cardinals pitching holds up and the Cubs continue to be - well - the Cubs - I could see there being validity to the rumor of Holiday to STL (with the A’s picking up a portion of the salary) in an effort to protect Albert in the batting order with the Redbirds shipping the A’s a prospect, Ankiel or Ludwick, and the ever popular PTBNL.

Tony's Take

3-in-1 time at Tony's Take. I'll make it brief but a few things I want to touch on -

1) There hasn't been a trade in our fantasy league since 5/1! Not since the Ervin Santana for George Sherrill swap (nice one Hoosier) have two teams come together with a little ante. I know I've thrown a couple feelers out there but haven't gotten anywhere past the exploration point of talks. So what gives? Do the owners in this league prefer to just take flyers on free agents off the scrap heap instead of crafting a blockbuster. No reason to answer #9, we all know your strategy.

2) Manny was suspended for 50 games right? So why does he get to start his rehab assignment today. I think a suspension from the league should be a suspension. Meaning no minor league games, no workouts at the ballpark, no entry into the clubhouse. If he wants to stay sharp during his suspension then he needs to go find some high school field to take BP. If he then needs a rehab stint it starts after the 50-game suspension. Baseball is too lenient on these offenders who test positive.

3) Oh yeah, Donald Fehr....don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out!!!

4) At what point during the season do you look at your respective teams off-season acquisitions and label them "bust"? I'm just wondering as I look at Milton Bradley .247 hitting line and 16 RBIs and we're 70 games into the season. Just can't help but wonder if the Cubs would of done the smart thing and signed Bobby Abreu (.292, 35 RBIs) for a pittance of the cost where they might stand today.

OK, that was 4 items but it bears repeating...Donald Fehr.....go suck an egg!!

3K

Open Thread Monday

Sorry guys, but I had a rough night last night. I got food poisoning and I'm just getting around to feeling normal again (was up all night last night harfing).

Special thanks to 3K and The Ger for attending Political Baby's baptism.

Let's do an open thread recap Monday. I'll start off.....3K, you smoked me. I'll admit it. I'm ashamed, I don't know who my team is anymore.

Gut Check Friday

Cornholers-5
Baby Gorillas-5
Your classic see-saw battle. Gorilla's dominating at the plate and 3K is toeing the rubber like a champ. I envision Maverick and Goose on the beach volleyball court, going tit for tat with Iceman and Slider (in one of the gayest scenes in cinematic history). Every fruity spike by Maverick is dug out by a glistening and sun soaked Iceman. As I reapply my mirrored aviator sunglasses and look across the net to see 3K spinning his laptop on his finger, I know this is gonna go down to the wire. And make no mistake, I will hop on my crotch rocket and drive off to Charley's house a victor come Sunday. I just hope she'll let me take a shower when I get there.

The SwinGERS-6
Client #9-2
Tied-2
What a fun matchup to follow. The Ger, fresh from a vacation to the Magic Kingdom, comes home to a nice lead against the Fighting Spitzers. He's running on all cylinders and if he keeps this up, he may just get back to .500. And don't get me wrong, Baby Bisho is throwing up some quality numbers too. This contest is akin to the extremely suspect race on the beach between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed in II. Both giving everything they had, pushing each other to the limits, searching for the true eye of the tiger. Let's just hope they don't hug each other incessantly and frolic in the surf afterward.

Lawndale Longhorns-8
Year 2000!-1
Tied-1
I can just picture New Linc sitting on his throne in Lincoln, Illinois, pawing a frothy can of Schlitz, bellowing out an sadistic laugh (picture Dr. Evil in Austin Powers). Where did this guy come from? What looked like a rotting carcas a month ago is now the second coming of Mickey Rourke. Just don't thank your dogs at any award shows. Meanwhile, Ed is looking like the old Mickey Rourke after one of his "professional boxing matches". Somewhere between 9 1/2 weeks and Johnny Handsome, Fenway Ed (like Mickey Rourke) is toasting to innocence lost as he watches his team go the way of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.

Clark & Addison-5
Hoosier Heat-4
Tied-1
This is as close as it can possibly get, two second place teams forced to do battle. I am reminded of Chip Douglas and Stephan Kovacs standing shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the ring of Medieval Times. As I sat on the edge of my couch, riveted by the improbable showdown, I could not begin to fathom who would merge victorious. This matchup is clearly in the same league.

Tallcorn Cobras-5
Jimmy's Daddy-3
Tied-2
The feature matchup of the week. The one we've all been waiting for. An extravaganza, of sorts. As T-Dub and Hef saunter to their laptops each morning, "You're The Best" by Joe Espisito blares in the backgrounds of their minds. This one is for all the marbles (which at this point in the season, is bragging rights). And right now, T-Dub is looking a lot like Johnny Lawrence in the beginning of the All Valley Tournament, vanquishing schlubs at will. Cut to Hef, who, like Daniel LaRusso, is holding his own too, drubbing poor man's Cobra Kai's, like the token black guy and the overweight and underappreciated fat guy. Will this end up like the movie, with Hef throwing the old crane kick on T-Dub on Sunday night? Or will it end as it should have been scripted, with Johhny tearing Daniels head clean off and beating Miyagi to death with it. Stay tuned.

CO Yankees-5
The Rockpile-4
Tied-1
Speaking of Daniel LaRusso, Yankee Mike (for those who don't know, he looks eerily like Ralph Macchio) is winning!!! And not only winning, winning decisively! It looks like The Rockpile is going the way of Wes Mantooth (cue Brian Fantana holding up two fingers). At the beginning of the week, it looked like Rocky Mike was circling the CO Yankees on his ten speed, with Yankee Mike urging his team to keep a tight perimeter. As the week has gone on, Yankee Mike has sent a message to Rocky Mike, and that message was this...let's dance dickweed. And as they head into the weekend, the CO Yankees have another message...come get a taste.

Question

Does anyone use Twitter here?